


There Is One Thing I Know for Certain

by literaryoblivion



Series: Tumblr Ficlets [51]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, Amnesiac Derek, Angst, Declarations Of Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, Love, M/M, Memory Loss, Recovered Memories, Scenting, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-14 23:49:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2207628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literaryoblivion/pseuds/literaryoblivion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek knows three things.</p><p>He knows that he’s lost his entire family in a fire he still blames himself for even though he’s been told it’s not his fault. He knows that he’s been in some sort of accident that has caused him to forget everything after that fire.</p><p>And he knows that he loves the boy that comes to check on him every day, sometimes more than once a day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There Is One Thing I Know for Certain

**Author's Note:**

> I received the following prompt on Tumblr: "Hey could you do a amnesia!derek who thinks that he and stiles are dating/married because stiles is always over his loft and some things have made their way over? And he's really confused as to why stiles is so sad when he says he loves him? Please?!"
> 
> The following can be found on Tumblr [here](http://literaryoblivion.tumblr.com/post/94395273618/hey-could-you-do-a-amnesia-derek-who-thinks-that-he-and).

Derek knows three things.

He knows that he’s lost his entire family in a fire he still blames himself for even though he’s been told it’s not his fault. He knows that he’s been in some sort of accident that has caused him to forget everything after that fire.

And he knows that he loves the boy that comes to check on him every day, sometimes more than once a day.

Because he has to love him. His name is Stiles Stilinski and ever since Derek’s accident, he’s been taking care of and checking in on Derek. Why would he do that if he didn’t at least care for Derek in some way? But Stiles hasn’t said anything to Derek on whether there is something between them (they can’t be married, Derek checked his pockets and drawers for a wedding ring). He probably is following the doctor’s advice at not bringing up things that might upset Derek.

But really not talking about it is what’s upsetting Derek more than ignoring it.

Derek knows he loves Stiles. He must have before the accident, and he does so even more now.

He knows he must have before because he can tell Stiles regularly spent time there with him. His sheets and even some of his clothes smell of Stiles, and when he did laundry after the accident, he found a few shirts that were definitely too small to be his in the pile. His phone has several pictures of Stiles, some that look like they were taken in far too intimate a setting for them to just be fun snapshots.

He knows he loves Stiles more now because Stiles is the only one of the people he’s been told is his pack that checks on him everyday. Sometimes he can only manage a phone call, but some of the others don’t even do that. They visit, text, sure, but Stiles is the only one that does so regularly. He’ll even bring Derek dinner, or just come over to hang out and sit on Derek’s couch to watch TV, or mess around on his computer while Derek reads. It’s nice and quiet and domestic, and Derek loves it. Only…

He realizes he must be different now to Stiles than his past self, and Stiles has told him as much. It must be why Stiles shies away just the slightest amount when Derek tries to put his arm around his shoulder or when Derek tries to hold his hand. Derek’s trying, but he can’t remember how he was before, so he doesn’t know what it was about him before that Stiles liked that must be gone now.

But it hurts though. It hurts every time Stiles pulls away. Usually the times he only ends up calling Derek instead of dropping by to see him are after Derek’s tried to get closer to Stiles, to show him affection and how much he loves and appreciates Stiles.

He doesn’t shy away from Derek as much as he did right after the accident, though. It’s been a few weeks (unfortunately, no sign of regained memories), and it seems like Stiles has warmed up to him a little more. Maybe he’s gotten used to this version of Derek? He lets Derek pull him in closer on the couch, lets him put his arm around him or touch his arm, lets himself fall asleep on Derek while they watch TV and Derek cards his fingers through his hair.

Derek thinks maybe it’s okay now, and every time Stiles comes over he touches him more. Just little subtle things, let his fingers graze Stiles’s arm when he passes him in the kitchen, letting his palm rest on the small of Stiles’s back when he shows Stiles out. Stiles doesn’t say anything, and when he starts leaning into the touch, Derek goes a little further the next time.

It’s hard to keep it small and subtle though because he so badly just wants to take Stiles into his arms, to bury his face into the crook of his neck, to kiss him all over his face and neck and chest, to touch him everywhere.

He forgets when Stiles ends up spilling something on his shirt and asks to borrow one of Derek’s. Derek doesn’t have a problem with it, in fact he loves it because it means Stiles will smell more like him. He can’t say that of course, so he nods and leaves to get it from his bedroom. When he comes back, Stiles is shirtless, his back to Derek as he rummages through the pantry. Derek can’t help himself when he reaches out and runs his hand down Stiles’s spine.

Stiles straightens and turns, both his eyebrows are raised. Derek thrusts the shirt out in front of him for Stiles, and Stiles silently accepts it and pulls it on. Derek tries not to watch, but he does and is slightly guilty about it. Stiles doesn’t seem to notice though and turns back around to the pantry to find whatever it was he was looking for. And Derek leaves for the living room because being so close to Stiles in his shirt is overwhelming.

A little while later he forgets again. They’ve eaten and are both in the kitchen again cleaning up. Stiles is at the sink, rinsing off their plates, and Derek walks by, closer than he should have, and gets a whiff of Stiles and their combined scent. It’s intoxicating. He leans closer, can’t help himself, and ends up pressing in against Stiles, nosing at the  back of his neck. Stiles stiffens, and that’s when Derek realizes what he’s done, how he’s crossed the line.

He rears back, trying to apologize, to say anything that would make Stiles forgive him for his mistake, only he can’t get the words out because Stiles is spinning around and pulling him back in.

"Don’t," Stiles says. "Come back; it’s fine. I just… was surprised." Derek is confused, but Stiles’s hands are on his forearms, pulling. "You’re scenting right? You can, it’s alright. Maybe it’ll help? Scent triggers memories…"

Derek nods and steps in closer to Stiles, close enough to extend his arms in front of him to touch. He puts his hands on Stiles’s hips, but then thinks maybe he shouldn’t.

"Is this… alright?" Derek says glancing down at his hands. Stiles smiles, nods, then tugs on his arms again.

"You can get closer you know. You can’t scent me from all the way over there, dude."

Derek chuckles and does as Stiles suggests. He shuffles closer, leaning in to sniff tentatively at Stiles. Stiles rolls his eyes and fists Derek’s shirt and tugs. Derek stumbles into him, his hands leaving Stiles’s hips to brace himself against the counter on either side of Stiles so he doesn’t crush him.

"Come on," Stiles says, tilting his head back and to the side, exposing his neck for Derek. Derek bites back a growl at the display, trying to reign himself in and stay in control of himself. He gives in to Stiles because Stiles is giving him permission, and he leans in, tilting his head to run his nose along the tendons of Stiles’s neck, breathe him in.

He rubs his cheek gently against his neck, running along the same path the tip of his nose did, and Stiles sighs but makes no move like he dislikes it or wants Derek to stop. So Derek gets bolder, let his hands return to Stiles’s hips from the counter. He can tell Stiles’s neck is a little raw from his stubble, and he presses his lips to it, kissing Stiles’s neck.

In reaction  Stiles’s gasps, and when Derek starts to pull back, worried he’s taken it too far again, Stiles’s hands fly to Derek’s head, his fingers threading through his hair and pressing down so Derek won’t move away. Derek doesn’t; he continues to press kisses into Stiles’s neck, shifting to do the same on the other side. He kisses along Stiles’s jaw and stops before he gets to Stiles’s mouth and pulls back.

Stiles’s eyes are closed, his mouth slightly open, but when Derek stops his ministrations he opens them. Derek is still close. He bumps his nose against Stiles’s and smiles, Stiles smiling in return.

"Stiles… can I?" he asks, hoping Stiles will understand what he’s asking for.

Stiles bobs his head. “Yes, Derek. Please.”

And finally Derek does what he’s been wanting to do for weeks. He kisses Stiles. It’s slow and gentle at first, but as the kiss goes on, it gets more heated, more passionate.

And Derek starts to remember things. He remembers kissing Stiles like this before, remembers what Stiles feels like in his arms, underneath him, what it sounds like when Stiles says his name amidst moans. He know there’s still things missing, but he remembers this. With Stiles. Being with Stiles and loving him and never wanting to let him go.

He breaks the kiss to tell Stiles that, to tell him he remembers something, but what comes out is,

"I love you."

It’s true, has been true for months even before he forgot his memories, but from the look of sadness and disappointment on Stiles’s face, Stiles doesn’t believe him.

"No you don’t, Derek," he says, pushing Derek away from him, tears welling up in his eyes.

"I do, Stiles, I love you, and—"

"No you don’t!" Stiles yells getting angry. "We’re not… You don’t remember, and I can’t keep pretending like we were something we weren’t before because when you do finally remember, you’re going to hate me for it. And I can’t…"

"What? I don’t understand."

"We’re not anything, Derek! Before… we weren’t anything. I guess you could say we were friends with benefits, and we fucked a couple times, but that’s it. I wanted it…," he stops himself from continuing that line of thought and continues, "It didn’t mean anything. And I can’t do this to you, not when you don’t remember. It’s like I’m taking advantage, and I don’t want… I can’t do this. I’m sorry." Stiles turns from Derek, leaving the kitchen to pull on his shoes.

Derek follows him, pulls his arm to turn him back around. “Stiles, I remember.” Stiles’s eyes widen, and Derek quickly continues, “Not everything, but… I remember us, and you. Stiles, did I ever say it didn’t mean anything? When we were together?”

"I… well, no?"

"Look, I understand if you want to go. I’m still trying to fill in the pieces, but when we kissed I… Stiles, I know I loved you before and I do now. I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it."

"How can you know that? You said you still don’t remember everything."

"I may not remember some of the details, but I remember how red your cheeks get and how loud you are before you come." Stiles’s jaw drops and his cheeks, surprisingly flush. Derek takes a few steps closer. "I remember what you look like in the morning in my bed." He closes the space between them, reaches to tug on the bottom hem of the shirt, his shirt, Stiles is wearing. "I remember what you look like wearing one of my shirts and nothing else, your hair mused and messy because of me."

"Derek…"

"I don’t remember everything, but I remember us. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, but all of those times we were together, it did mean something to me. I was probably too afraid to tell you, and you got the wrong idea, but I care about you, Stiles. I love you. And it might take me a little while to remember everything else, but you’ll help me, right?"

"Of course. I… wow. You love me?" Stiles gives him a small smile.

"Don’t sound so smug about it," Derek says, and Stiles chuckles.

"That sounds like the old Derek… maybe you are getting your memories back."

"I am. You’re helping. When we kissed, I remembered a few things."

"Oh really? Well, let’s see if I can help you remember some more," Stiles says before dragging Derek to the bedroom.

And Derek remembers. Oh does he remember, and his memories are nothing compared to the real thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://literaryoblivion.tumblr.com) or [twitter](http://twitter.com/lit_oblivion).


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